Sorry I didn't have time to post yesterday about the liquid cleanse and how it's going. I am feel physically okay, but I think I am emotionally detoxing right now. I've been in a strange mood since I got out of bed, and I slept for a long time. I was taking the bus home in the rain, but decided to get off and walk because I loved the feeling of being soaked with the water falling from the sky. At the skytrain station I bumped into my friend from Vancouver island who is supposed to be staying with me this week... I had completely forgotten. She had tried calling my phone and knocked on my door for awhile but of course I was wandering around getting drenched and trying to figure out why I was feeling so grey, so I didn't notice my phone. Fortunately she had made plans with another friend so she's out right now, but I'll see her later. Once I got home, I realized I was really hungry so I made a mango-banana-date smoothie and it tasted good. Yet even after consuming it, I felt like laying down and crying. I've been feeling that way a lot lately, but I've been too busy to let myself actually give in. I don't have time to be sad.

I think that although I devote much of my time to actively confronting all my emotional demons, I let some become repressed unconsciously, and then convince myself they aren't hidden there. I have let that happen now, with emotions coming from my past relationship. My current partner's roommate is a friend of my ex-boyfriend, and so occasionally my ex will be over at my current partner's house. Inconvenient for us all, to say the least. Well, fate finally wanted to have a laugh so last week I went over there with my friends to see my partner and hang out but ended up walking into a room full of guys laughing together... my ex being one of them. My past relationship was very intense and emotional for me; I tell myself I have healed from it but obviously this is not so, because whenever his name is brought up, I have trouble breathing and speaking; and when I saw him a few days ago by surprise I was basically paralyzed. No one in the room seemed to notice this and they call kept laughing at jokes being told. I didn't know what to do so I just left. A little later I broke down in tears by the road without being able to explain precisely why. By the next morning I felt better... but evidently this was temporary because I think the same clump of suppressed feels has surfaced again and is making me glum as scum today. I suppose I need to allow myself to soak in these emotions and then hopefully they will leave me... I don't know. Sorry for making This Rawsome Vegan Life more like This Rawsome Vegan Depression but I gotta get my thoughts out somewhere.

As far the liquid fasting is concerned: it's going well. Yesterday was probably the toughest for me and partner, I wrote a final exam for archaeology then we went grocery shopping... we ended up getting way too hungry and really wanted to bite our meal instead of drink it, but we are strong willed and it wasn't a serious issue. We drank a bunch of amazing soup - seriously it was one of the best things I've ever tasted - and watched a documentary, then felt much better. And now we come full circle back to today: after having that mango-banana-date smoothie, I wrote the bulk of this post and did other blog/computer tasks. Then I made some soup, wrote in my journal, and still felt hungry. I made a blueberry smoothie with bananas, cacao and almonds. It's pretty good albeit a little grainy because I didn't let the almonds blend fully. If I feel hungry again later, I'll make some vegetable juice.


PARSLEY BEET JUICE

1 bunch parsley
2 beets
5 carrots
1 garlic clove

Juice. Drink. Mmm.


MANGO-BANANA-DATE SMOOTHIE

1 frozen banana
2 mangoes
5 dates
4 ice cubes
Water, as needed

Blend it all up until smooth. 


MEXICO-INSPIRED SOUP 

5 tomatoes
2 cups corn 
1 avocado
Juice from 1/2 lime
Coriander 
Pepper, to taste
Vegetable broth, as needed

Blend everything until smooth. 


BLUEBERRY SMOOTHIE with CACAO & ALMONDS

1 banana
1 cup frozen blueberries
3 dates
1/4 cup almonds
1 tablespoon cacao powder
Water, as needed

Blend until smooth. Enjoy.

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