COCONUT CREAM LIME PIE
3:03 PM
The crust of this pie is made up of hemp seeds and dates. I love the taste of cannabis. Don't worry - hemp seeds have practically no THC, which is the stuff that gets ya high (but you can find plenty of THC in its close cousin, the notorious marijuana plant... just sayin'). Hemp is full of protein, fiber, and a gorgeous balance of healthy fats: omega 3's and 6's. The coconut and lime cream part of the pie is basically what it sounds like; it is made up of coconut meat, coconut oil, coconut nectar and a lime. Yep. The best things in life are the simplest.
When I finished blending the cream, I scooped a bit out of the Vitamix and casually had a taste. I froze, eyes widened, then started groaning with pleasure. (Yes; sex and food effectively share many similarities.) Then I immediately scribbled down the recipe so I wouldn't risk forgetting what was in the glorious concoction. Honestly it tastes like a sweet coconut lime cloud has found a home in your mouth. I don't even know if I am making sense anymore, but it is IMPERATIVE you make this ASAP, okay? Now you say: "Sir, yes sir!"
Note: sharing will be difficult, almost impossible, but believe in yourself and find the strength to be generous because it is our duty as human beings to get this pie into as many mouths as possible, since it holds a substantial weight in the potential goodness of the future. Let's go, troops. P.S. I don't know how we went from talking about heaven to marijuana to the military but let's not worry about that; let's eat.
COCONUT CREAM LIME PIE
Crust:
3/4 cup hemp seeds
3/4 cup dates
Cream filling:
1/2 young coconut meat
1/4 cup coconut water, if needed
2 tablespoons melted coconut oil
1-2 tablespoons coconut nectar
1 peeled lime
Pinch of Himalayan salt
1/2 teaspoon ginger powder
1/2 teaspoon vanilla powder
To make the crust: pulse the hemp seeds into powder in a food processor then add the dates and process until it lumps together. Press into a small pie dish (my mini one is 4 inches).
To make the cream filling: blend all the ingredients until smooth, white and they look like a delicious cloud. If it's too thick to blend, add a little but of coconut water. Spread evenly into your crust and put in the fridge for ideally 48 hours before serving.
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